"Before we begin, let us revisit the oft misinterpreted, and somewhat controversial second paragraph of article 16: may we wear gloves?"

http://www.petanque.org/news/rules/96.shtml

"I don't know Barb; I just don't think I'd go in high right there http://www.petanque.org/gameplay/31.shtml."

"Okay. I wasn't going to mention it, but your balls appear to conform neither with the standards of the F.I.P.J.P nor of article 2. (http://www.petanque.org/news/rules/105.shtml) Many apologies, but this game is over."

Either this guy has a fantastic carreau (http://www.petanque.org/gameplay/27.shtml), or he received the much coveted Golden Medallion for Most Accessible Parking Space--Conversion Van Division. In either case, congratulations are in order.